Chapter 7

Previous chapters can be found here.

I still struggle to understand how this came to be. How I got a domestic violence order against me. How I let her manipulate reality and convince a judge I was a weird, stalker creep.

Following the EPO I was served, I was given a court date. It was just a few days after being served.

I spent those days attempting to get prepared and putting all my evidence and information together. I thought I was well-prepared but that was the farthest thing from the truth.

Come the morning of, I got dressed up in a suit, probably overdoing it. My friend was to take myself and my sister down to the family court.

The mood was fairly light between the three of us to start. Was really hoping REDACTED would be a no show. She was late, but she showed up. She was called back by a man whom later I discovered was the court appointed lawyer whose job it was to represent all the children listed in the orders on each case. He took her to a private place and we all collectively waited for a few more hours until our case was called.

I walk in with my sister and friend. Since they weren’t witnesses they were allowed to sit in.

REDACTED was sitting at a table on the right with the court appointed lawyer for the children.

I sat at the table on the left.

I felt small in every way. I felt too small for the chair. Too small for the table. Too small for the courtroom. Too small for this situation.

The case is read in. REDACTED asks if she can read a statement. The judge shuts her down. The judge then reads REDACTED’s statement from the original EPO. And we begin to go through REDACTED’s reasons in the statement.

We discuss the blog. Once again, bad idea. I tell her that I thought it would be a good way to collect and organize all my evidence. She asks why I didn’t simply save it on my computer. I just reply “I don’t know.”

At one point in the EPO REDACTED described me as having a “weird attachment” to her daughter. This is a statement I took the most offense to as it appears to have a sinister underlying meaning. It’s disgusting she used her daughter in this way. It wouldn’t be long after that REDACTED would publicly accuse her daughter’s father of molesting her. Just another example of her using her children to get some control. That will be discussed in later chapters.

The judge asked if it was true that I told REDACTED that “she would be in my suicide note.”

I said if I couldn’t see my son I would feel like dying,

The night where I went to make sure REDACTED was alive was harped on. Once again, I went home like REDACTED wanted to check on her. To the house I was on the lease on and had a key to. REDACTED was alive and I left. I was made out to be some prowling creep breaking into REDACTED home to watch her sleep. Not the case.

The judge asked me if she thought it was appropriate to email her 110 or so times. As stated in the previous chapter, she sent 90 back. These were short one or two sentence emails back and forth. It was a conversation, no different than one has via text.

The judge asked REDACTED if she thought I was a danger to her children. REDACTED said she didn’t think I would harm her children, but that if I couldn’t have access to our son that I might kidnap her daughter.

The judge asked REDACTED if she felt I was a danger to her. REDACTED said she wasn’t sure.

The judge told me that threatening suicide is textbook domestic violence. I was ordered to have no contact with REDACTED for three years. I was ordered to see an approved psychiatrist for an evaluation.

The three reasons listed in the DVO paperwork was the suicide threat, harassing her via copious emails, and the night I went to check on her.

We all exited the courtroom. We had to wait for the papers to come out. For some reason, the lawyer representing the children felt a need to come talk to my sister, my friend, and myself. He told me he appreciated my honesty and he could tell I was a decent person. He said he saw pictures of me and REDACTED’s kids and he could tell I really cared about them and they really liked me. He told me if I did what the judge said, I’d be able to be a father to my son.

I felt all this to be a huge miscarriage of justice and I failed to properly defend myself.

If the story stopped there I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog.

It’s the fact that REDACTED uses it continuously to manipulate me. REDACTED uses it to make demands. REDACTED made me have contact with her. She made me be near her. If I didn’t do exactly what she wanted she’d send me to jail.

One example is when REDACTED blew me up via text shortly after the court case and accuse me of hacking her email and her phone. Telling me to just stop and that she’d call the cops. To this day I still haven’t a clue what she was talking about and sounded like paranoid nonsense. This is just one of dozens of examples.

She weaponizes victimhood and warps the truth through her twisted lens. She will ruin anyone if it means getting her way.